Have you ever thought back on an old friend and wondered where they went?
Some friendships last a lifetime. Others are close for a while, and then one day you notice they’re gone. You don’t always know why. Friendships are some of the most precious relationships we’ll ever have, so when one fades, it hurts.
I’ve been walking through this lately. There are a couple of ladies I care about, and I thought our friendship was in one place. It turns out they saw it differently. Little by little, they’ve slipped out of my life.
My first instinct was to ask, “What did I do wrong? Why is she mad at me?” But here’s what I’ve learned. It may have nothing to do with you. You don’t know what’s going on in someone else’s heart or someone else’s life.
I picture every friendship as two train tracks. Each one is running along on its own path. At some point the two tracks come together and run as one for a while. That’s the season of friendship. Then the tracks split again, and each one goes on its way.
That doesn’t mean the friendship failed. It means the season changed. They did what they needed to do for you, and you did what you needed to do for them. When you look back, you can often see how you helped each other.
We’re all people, and we all make mistakes. You may have hurt someone without ever meaning to. Pray about it. But if you’re not out there causing chaos, and you did what you could to keep the friendship, you can rest. Accept it as the blessing it was and move on. They may feel the very same way.
And sometimes you’re the one who notices it doesn’t feel the way it used to. That’s okay too. You don’t have to settle for being tolerated. You deserve to be around people who love you and love you back. Everybody does.
There’s a line in my book that helps me keep all of this in perspective:
“In every relationship there is always a teacher and a student. Always be open to either role.”
Every friend, for a season or a lifetime, teaches us something or learns something from us. That’s a gift worth thanking God for.